Bitter Summer

Cal took a long overdue hot shower. He let the hot water run through his back. On the floor, the water gathered and created a small puddle. A blurry reflection of him from the water. His vision began to blur and his head started to spin. He looks up into the stream and washes his face. He looked down again to see a clear reflection the water. Not him but someone else. Terrance.

Cals heart start to race, his ears start to ring, his breathing sped up, and he began to tremble. His headache spiked like a distorting wave from inside his brain flowing outwards.

”What are you doing? ”

”You have the guts to just gloss over what you did? ”

”You killed me. ”

”And you
e gonna act like you did nothing? ”

”ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! ” Terrance screamed right in Cals ear

”Please, please, please, stop! ” Cal begged

”Im begging you please stop! ” he begged again

Cal turned off the shower and ran out of the shower. He grabbed his towel, dried himself as quick as possible. He felt a chill go down his spine. His stomach began to curl, he felt nauseous. He walked to the sink at rests his hands at the front edge.

He stared at the mirror and his eyes were bright red, from the shampoo that got in his eyes earlier. He suddenly felt a weird, sickening, warmth in his throat. He felt his throat tighten up. He grabs his neck and felt even more nauseous.

He quickly ran to the toilet, opened the hood and shoved his face into the toilet. He threw up, a lot. His eyes watered, his nose felt a burning sensation, his tongue went numb and his ears rang.

Cal slowly got on his feet. He closed the toilet hood and flushed the toilet. He limped over back to the sink. His mouth smelled awful, so he decided to brush his teeth.

He quickly finished brushing his teeth, he cupped water in his hand from the sink tap and gargled with it. He spits out the water. He slowly glanced to the mirror and saw Terrance. The light dimmed and flickered. Rope tied to Terrances neck, he was elevated from the ground, the rope connected to the ceiling somehow. And there Terrance was, hanging.

Cal turned his entire body around as fast as he can. Terrance was gone.

”Its not real, its not real, its not real, its not real.. ” Cal repeated

”Thats how you wish it was. ” Terrance said

”No, no, no, no, no, none of that happened. This is a nightmare, this is a nightmare? ” Cal questioned

”Its a memory. A memory of the truth that you refuse to accept. ”

”Everything is going to be okay. Ill be fine. ” Cal trying to reassure himself

”Is that how youll feel after lying? After hiding the truth? ”

”… ”

”You are just going to hide it forever? You can . Itll eat you alive, consume you, YOU CANT HIDE FROM IT! ”

”SHUT UP! ” Cal yelled

Someone then knocked on the bathroom door.

”Yo, Cal. You okay? I heard you scream. ” It was Leon

”… ”

Cal couldn bring himself to respond, so he just curled inside the bathroom, covering his ears trying to shut out the voices.

”Liar. ”

”Murderer. ”

The bathroom door then opened from the inside.

”Hey, Cal. You good? ” Leon ask

”Huh? Uh… Yeah. ”

”You were screaming earlier. ”

”… ”

Cal walks pass Leon and into his room. He slam shut the door. He was surprised, his room was tidier than ever. He started crying, not of joy. He was scared.

”They won care for you when they learn the truth. ”

”Theyll forsaken you. ”

”Theyll hate you. ”

”Despise you. ”

”Loathe you. ”

”Youll be alone. Forever. ”

”Please… Shut the hell up… ” Cal slowly started to succumb to the voices

”Theyll know. ”

Cal wore his usual set of clothes. Unbuttoned checkered shirt, black T-shirt, black long pants. He walked out of his room and joined Leon in the living room.

”Wheres my dad? ” Cal ask

”He left earlier, needed to do something with the town sherriff. ”

”Okay. ”

Leon and Cal walked all the way to their school, a 15 minute fast walk. They walked through the halls of the school. While Leon walked slowly, Cal was powering through them. His head down, trying to avoid anything that would remind him of Terrance.

Leon was confused at first but he realized it would probably bring memories Cal doesn want to remember. So he started running. And joined Cal. They went through the door they needed to and reached the school gym.

Neil and Aliyah were waiting in front of the door. But Neil was more hidden, he tried to scare Cal (Aliyah told him it would be a bad idea).

Neil tried to scare Cal anyway. This time Cal actually jumped, but his reaction was to punch Neil in the face. He punched him seriously, Neil fell to the ground, holding his left cheek.

”Fuck, Neil. Im sorry. ” Cal regretted

”Oww… ”

”I told him not to do it. ” Aliyah said

Neil stood up quickly, stretching his jaw and rubbing his cheek.

”All good. Glad you
e here. ” Neil said

”… ”

”Alright, you guys wait. at your benches, okay? Ill buy you guys food, like I promised. ” Leon said

”Okay. ”

Leon then walked outside of the gym to go buy food in some peoples stands.

”Did he actually promised us to buy food? Im pretty sure I said it was a joke. ” Neil said to Aliyah

”Whatever, just be grateful. ” Aliyah replied

Aliyah walked to Cal and stood in front of him. She gently puts her hand on his face. She looks at him with compassionate yet worried eyes. He stares right back at her eyes. She saw that he was anxious, almost fearful.

”How are you feeling? ” She ask

”Like… Like I can go on. ” He said in a quiet, depressed tone

Aliyah jumped and was shock at what Cal said. She didn know what to say to that. What could she say? She stayed silent and grab his hand. She drags him slowly to their seats. Neil followed along.

”Youll be okay, won you? ” She questioned

”… ”

It was about 10 minutes before the match, introductions of each member, telling them to be good sports, play clean, etc.

Despite it being warm inside the gym, Cal was shivering and sweating. It hurts for him to breath normally, he uses his mouth instead. His palms were sweaty, he felt a chill down his spine, he can feel his knees getting weaker.

It was time for the game, Leon puts on a show. scoring 7 points in the first 90 seconds. His physical build, skill, accuracy were top notch for his age. He was confident that hed get scouted.

”Whyd you come here? ” The voice ask

”You came here to feel better, yet you just feel more guilty. You can live with the truth alone, but you
e scared of revealing it. ” The voice said

”Please… Not now god dammit. ” Cal begged as he held the back of his head

”Cal? ” Aliyah called, confused and worried

”You can keep going. Thats what you said. You gave in, so show a little follow through. ”

”Youll never be able to live with the truth. ”

”So just end it. ” The voices said

Cal closed his ears as he heard a loud ringing sound. Sound of his heartbeat followed along the ringing. His heart ached, his chest and throat tightened, his stomach curled.

Cal stood up and scoot over to leave.

”Cal, where are you going? ” Aliyah asks

”Yo, where you going? ” Neil asks too

Cal fell silent and walked over them. He jumped off from the benches and walked out the gym. A few steps out the gym he fell to his knees. He shut his ears and started screaming. No one outside to hear his scream. Cal wailed in agony, tears ran down his face. He limped over to a tall building, a bell tower. Neil and Aliyah walked out a few seconds after Cal entered the tower.

5 Minutes Earlier

Mr. Moore and James (the sherriff), arrived at Mr. Moores house. Mr. Moore rushed inside the house. Walked through the door and went over to the living room. A note on the table.

”Cal and I are going to school, Cals gonna watch my game. ”

– Leon

Mr. Moore walked out the door and slammed it. He got back inside James police car and sat down.

”We need to go to the school. ” Mr. Moore said

”Alright. ”

Mr. Moore felt uneasy, he felt like something bad was about to happen. His breathing sped up, he became jumpy, constantly bouncing his leg.

”You okay? ” James ask

”Sorry, but can we hurry? I have a bad feeling. ”

”Yes, sir. ”

James then turned the siren on and punched it. He drove as fast as he can, running through red lights to save time.

It took them about 3 minutes to arrive. They parked in the parking lot, then got out of the car. Mr. Moore started running to the gym, James followed behind him. Soon enough he arrived in front of the gym and saw Neil and Aliyah.

”Wheres Cal? ” Mr. Moore ask

”He went up to the clock tower. ” Aliyah said

”Fuck. ”

All rushed to the clock tower, even James. It was a pretty tall clock tower but Cal was already on top and on the edge. His hand holding the top pillar supporting the roof, looking down.

The wind howling quietly around him. His mind was blank, his ears deafened.

”Itll be over soon. ”

”Everything is going to be okay. ”

”Youll join him soon. ” The voices said in a quiet, gentle voice

Cal slides closer to the edge, puts his right leg over the edge. His hand was no longer holding the pillar. He was ready, he was committed.

”Everything will be okay. ” He uttered alone

If he wasn in the military, if he was simply out of shape, if hed been half a second late, it wouldve been the end.

Cals dad rushed from behind Cal and grabs him with both of his hands by Cals stomach and jumps backwards. He dropped on the ground, still holding Cal in his arms.

Cal started crying, he became even more afraid. The two sat up right and Cal striked in to hug his father.

”Please. I can lose you. Not you, you
e my only son. I can lose you. You
e the only thing I have left. ” His father cried

”Im sorry. I… I couldn stop the voices. I just… I just wanted them to stop. ” Cal said feeling powerless

”Its okay, Im here. We
e okay. ”

”I killed him, dad. Terrance! I killed him! ” Cal yelled

”No, you did- ”

”I did! I was.. I was scared, I didn know what to do. ”

”Hey, hey, Cal. Listen to me. ”

His dad stood him up and held both his hand up to Cals face. He wiped his tears.

”Listen, you don have to be alone. You have me here with you. You have friends. You aren alone. You can talk to them, you can talk to me! ” His father said, doing his best to make his son realize

”Im.. Im scared! ” He cried

”I know… I know. And its okay, its okay to be scared. We
e only human. ” His father said

”But.. But I can … ”

”Whatever it is, well go through together, promise? ”

”I don know.. I don think I can. ”

”Okay.. Okay. When you were born, I made a promise to your mother. A promise I didn know if I can keep it. But I tried my best to raise you alone. I was scared too. But thats okay. You know why? ”

”Wh- why? ”

”Because being brave isn having no fear. Its having fear and you do it anyway. ”

”I know you
e scared, but we can help you. I can help you. ” His father said as he stopped crying.

”Okay. ” Cal said as he finally stopped crying

His father smiled and hugged his son again. Then the others joined them on top.