Cry, Even Better if you Beg

Once Matthias was content she was fully clean, he tossed the used cloth into the silver basin, before tucking himself behind Leyla, and hugged her back to his chest.
It was crystal clear to him that he’d left marks against her porcelain skin.
He opted out of covering them with a blanket, wanting to admire her body some more as the warmth from the fireplace adequately kept the biting cold away. 

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She was sleeping soundly in his arms, and he couldn’t help but admire the hickeys left on her body.
They had been fading since, and he made sure to mark the same spots as before. 

She shuddered when a strong gust of wind breezed past them, before snuggling closer into him, letting out a satisfied smile when he tightened his arms around her.
Still, she remained asleep. 

Matthias continued to pet her, rubbing some friction on her skin whenever she’d shiver, and smiled to himself when she’d calm down at his touch.
It was nice seeing her so content with him for a change, even if she was asleep. 

His hands drifted down, snaking past her waist and down between her legs. 

Leyla frowned when he brushed up against her still sensitive nub, and her eyes fluttered open, looking over her shoulder to glare at him.
“Stop!” she hissed, trying to twist away from him, causing Matthias to chuckle in amusement.

“I said stop! We’ve done enough already!”

She grabbed tightly onto his wandering wrist and pulled it away from her nether regions and glared back at him in defiance.
Even now, he still confused her by the sudden changes in the way he’d treat her back and forth. 

There had been previous times they had gone on for more than just one round, but Leyla loved to forget it, quickly washing the memories off her mind whenever she’d shower once she got home.

It wasn’t that having sex was painful for her, in fact it was the opposite that made her worry.

It was getting increasingly difficult to deny herself the pleasure she was feeling during the activities.
And every time they’d do it, she found her body more and more into it. 

Fortunately, Matthias did stop attempting to push his fingers into her, instead wrapped his arms around her waist, while casually tucking her head against the nape of his neck as he turned her body towards him. 

They were both locked into an intense stare-off with one another, making her look so petite compared to him.
She was looking up at him with wide eyes, as a blush rose on her cheeks by how close they were. 

He was looking at her with those soft eyes once more.
And it made her heart skip a reluctant beat.

His hands moved back to her waist, giving her a gentle squeeze.
He hiked himself up, and looked down on her face, tracing her features with a finger, before pulling away when he saw it made her uncomfortable.

“Come with me to the capital.” he whispered softly to her, a twinkling look in his eyes as though he was begging her to say yes.
His hand stroked at her gently as Leyla refused to believe it was anything but a demand from him. 

“Why should I?” she asked rather harshly, narrowing her eyes at him in contempt.
It must be increasingly difficult for him to keep his mistress in Arvis, especially with the wedding drawing closer. 

He probably wanted to move her quickly to the capital too, which would be best to do while he’s not yet tied down to Claudine. 

“I remember you told me once you wanted to go to college there.” he supplied helpfully, and Leyla couldn’t help but scoff at him.

“So what? You want to send me off to college?” she asked incredulously, and Matthias nodded without a second to hesitate.

“If you wished to, I would.”

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“Ha, no thank you.” Leyla huffed at him angrily, “I don’t want to add up my debts to you, and make you use it against me further.” she reminded him, turning away from him successfully, pulling the covers around them to cover her body. 

Despite her bravado, Leyla couldn’t help but shudder at the animosity he was emitting behind her. 

It was like she just stabbed him, by the way she casually threw his good intentions into his face, and implied she was selling him her body.
A tense smile came over Matthias’ lips as he stared icily at Leyla’s back. 

She knew exactly where he would hurt, and how to make it hurt worse.
Such a clever bird he has, but Matthias was not her master for nothing, and he’d make her see it! If she wanted to believe they were in a give-and-take transaction, then he’d make it so!

 “You think our bedtime activities would be enough to pay for college education? With your pisspoor performance?” he spat back harshly, before grabbing her by the head of her hair and slowly pulled him back towards him, making her gasp as she grabbed onto his wrists, looking positively frightened…

“Don’t grow cocky of yourself Leyla, it doesn’t suit you.” he warned.
Her eyes blinked back unshed tears and she gulped.

“Then why are you even offering?” she asked him in frustration, face flushing in embarrassment.
Matthias hummed as he thought deeply how to answer her.

Truth be told, he didn’t have any ulterior reason why he wanted to fund her education.
He just thought she would appreciate the opportunity, and he had the means to make it true.
He could have just as well given her a mansion of equal value, but she wouldn’t appreciate that as much as a chance to be educated in her dream school.

“Believe it or not, I wanted to give you something out of kindness for a change.” he told her plainly, looking at her with cold eyes when she barked out a laugh in disbelief, refusing to believe him. 

Deeming she had enough of his farce, she moved to get out of bed when he held her back, keeping her in place.

Matthias couldn’t believe just how brazen she’d become.
While she grated at his nerves with her persistent rebellion against him, he much preferred it to the puppet-like behavior she had when she had been serving as Claudine’s aide, or in her death-like state as she curled in on herself in a cold, and darkened room. 

Yes, she does possess a bull-headed stubbornness, but he liked this better than her helpless demeanor. 

But that was just amongst the many things he couldn’t even begin to comprehend whenever he was with her. 

The whole matter with Claudine was unavoidable, he knew that.
She was his fiance, she had every right to be irked, and he had every duty to put Claudine’s needs above Leyla’s…

But it was unbecoming of him to openly embarrass Claudine in front of their noble acquaintances, even if it had been in an underhanded manner.
After all, no matter what she did to Leyla during those past few days was less worse than what he’d been doing to her for weeks!

But even his entire deal with Leyla wasn’t going as smoothly as he wished.
And he didn’t know how to make it so. 

So he just kissed her, then and there, despite the way Leyla tried to dodge his advances, he just took, and took until the lust returned to him because it was all that made sense to him right now. 

Leyla felt that warmth pooling in her once more as he spread her legs around his waist.
Instinctively she grabbed him around the neck as he adjusted them, and in one swift move, buried himself balls deep inside her, making her moan against his lips.

But instead of resisting him this time, Leyla allowed his slow and gentle thrusts to continue as he pulled away.
He rested his forehead against hers, and they locked eyes on one another.
She knew deep down, the Duke was ever doing things that would give him pleasure.
This was no different. 

But to send her to her dream college out of the kindness of his heart? Ha! The thought was ridiculous, it made her laugh. 

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“You’re lying…” she gasped out, when he hit into her deeply, moaning at the contact.
“All you do is lie…” she protested, stifling back the escaping sounds of pleasure from her mouth. 

Matthias’ hips stuttered in their movements, before resuming at a quicker pace as he held onto their eye contact, trying to rid her of that hateful gaze directed at him.
Her hold on him tightened, as her anger was blanketed with a wave of increasing pleasure…

She threw her head back in an unstoppable mewl, her hips moving in tandem with his, before she looked back at him resolutely with her own icy stare…

“I know everything about you now Duke.” she gasped against him.
She thought she saw a hint of hurt in him when she called him a liar, and she wanted to drive that nail further into him even as he had her caught up in pleasure. 

“You’re a liar by heart.” she moaned, biting into his shoulder, before pulling away when he hit her in that sweet spot once more.
“All of you is a lie…” she sighed, and began to lose herself in the pleasure. 

Matthias smirked disdainfully over her shoulder, his thrusts quick and deep into her, before swallowing whatever words she had for him next with a hungry kiss.

Perhaps she was right.
Maybe he was lying.
Maybe his entire persona was just a lie.
But he’d been living in the pretense of that lie too long now…

He didn’t even know where the real him lies, or if it was even there anymore. 

 

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

 

The next day, Leyla woke up early in the morning, and washed her face.
She stretched her limbs to get rid of the lingering soreness from last night’s events as she changed her clothes and got ready for the day. 

Just as she was about to begin her chores, a knock came at her door, startling her.
With a frown, she went to open the door, and was greeted by the sight of Claudine’s maid. 

Leyla stood there in shock, unaware of what she should do, when the maid suddenly bowed down in front of her. 

“I’d like to apologize, Miss Lewellin, for my indiscretions.” the maid began, before straightening up, to present her hand, which presented Leyla with a healing gash.
“I lied to my mistress that I couldn’t work, and that led you to be inconvenienced because of me.” She explained, though there was a stiffness in her.

Even when she was a child, Leyla could tell there was something a little bit off about the maid, despite having done her no wrong and continuously being polite towards her. 

She was a little perplexed by the apology she was receiving now, but she wasn’t entirely surprised by this turn of events.
She suspected something along the lines of this, but even if she did turn out right, Leyla had no will in her to confront Claudine about it.

In her mind, she deserved that little bit of unkindness from Lady Brandt.  And nothing would have changed if she insisted on them to check if the maid was really unable to do her job. 

As children, Leyla grew to fear Claudine because she knew she was a countess’ daughter.
Had she in any way disobeyed the girl, she feared the repercussions her Uncle Bill would take because of it.

But now she was in trouble instead, and it was a stronger fear to someone else. 

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And the whole thing about making her a temporary servant, well, it wasn’t worse than the fact she was sleeping behind her back with the woman’s fiance.
Leyla felt like a thief in the night, stealing something that isn’t supposed to be hers.
It didn’t matter that she was  blackmailed into it.

She still did it of her own volition, and in her eyes, and the rest should they discover it, it is still, undeniably, an affair. 

The rest of the maid’s apologies to her were very polite and courteous towards Leyla.
But she couldn’t hide how stiff her movements were, as if she’d rather be serving her mistress than be apologizing to Leyla. 

And as Leyla looked into her eyes, she saw something more. 

When the maid was finished explaining, Leyla accepted the apology, and the maid went on their way.
Leyla shut the door once she was back on the road, before it clicked in her mind what she saw in the maid. 

A hint of anger and disdain…

She knew it because she’d lately seen it reflected in her eyes.
But it wasn’t directed to the duke, no… this was directed towards her. 

Lost in the thought, wondering what she could have done to offend the maid, she found herself sitting on top of her bed, when a sickening feeling came over her…

‘Don’t tell me….,’

Leyla gasped, bringing a hand up to her mouth,

‘Does Claudine know after all!?’ she thought in absolute panic.

Her stomach churned uncomfortably the more she mulled over the thought.
Just then, something bright was reflected at her, and Leyla winced when the light hit her eyes.
She turned to look, and saw it was the jewelry box the Duke had given to her last night right before she left the annex. 

There it lay innocently on top of her bedside table.

“What’s this?”

Leyla remembered asking when he’d given it to her.
She had turned it over in her hand inquiringly, refusing to open it. 

He’d taken it out of his coat pocket when she started clothing back up.
She was busy picking her clothes, and looked up in shock when he’d suddenly stood in front of her, with the box in an outstretched hand. 

“Open it.”

He implored her, grabbing her hand to put the box gently in her palms, closing her fingers around it.
She then reached out for her glasses, and wore it on her face to see it clearly.

She gasped in shock when she opened the lid, and revealed an intricately designed bird, with golden wings.
It was a pendant, clipped to a chain that could be worn.
It was laid artistically against the red velvet box, as though it was nesting in it, ready to take flight. 

It oddly reminded her of those crystal birds she’d seen decorated over the arched aisle of the Museum back in Ratz.
They were so beautiful to look at too!

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She almost dropped the masterpiece when the implication came over her.
She refused to believe he was giving this to her because of that day!

She looked up  at him in disbelief, and saw the way he also regarded the intricate design in a fond manner, before they locked eyes.
And not a second later, the emotion she read from him was gone, making her believe she just imagined it. 

“Why are you giving me this?” she demanded from him, but it came out in a wobbly voice, just above a whisper. 

Did he really remember that moment? Did he make it because of that? For her?!

“I know you like it.” he answered plainly to her, bringing her an odd sense of disappointment when he elaborated no further.
Leyla only grew more confused, desperately stamping out the blooming hope and adoration in her chest. 

He can’t do these things!

He can’t just expect her to swoon back into his arms, as though the past weeks were nothing! She won’t let him! She refused to let him!

Her breathing grew ragged, worrying Matthias who stepped closer to look at her, and see why she was reacting in such a way to his gift.
She tried to look away from him, but he’d grasped her chin, and made her look up, searching her for an answer…

‘No!’ she had thought at the time, and swiftly shut the box to a close and handed it back out to him.
Matthias’ eyes narrowed at that action, but remained silent, not moving to take it back.

“I don’t like it anymore.” she had spat back at him, holding her chin up high as she glared up at him, “I don’t even need it.
So just take it back.” she told him, “Throw it away if you must, cause I don’t want it.” 

Memories of the cool crystals beneath her fingertips rushed to her mind.
There were so many of them in that museum, and she had been so happy when she found that the Duke had lifted her up so she could reach out and enjoy them.

But that moment was meaningless in the face of recent tragedies.
It was gone, and she could never go back to that foolish girl before. 

Matthias had stared at the velvet box in silence for a long time before he finally turned away from her, before he turned back.
There was a tension in his body that Leyla hadn’t noticed before.

“Then why don’t you throw it away yourself?” Matthias challenged, glaring right back at her in that indifferent stare.
He then turned on his heels, and left her alone in his room with a loud bang, echoing throughout the empty halls of the annex.

And then they parted ways after that.

She didn’t know why she didn’t throw it away when she’d left the annex.
By all rights, she should.
But something in her wanted to keep it. 

She couldn’t just let it go, that Leyla that had been so carefree before, she wanted her back.
She wanted to be her once more…

“You’re going to be a pretty good adult.” 

Uncle Bill had once told her, so confident in her future.
She’d believed him when he told her that, but now it was like she was being choked up by her shame and disappointment in what she’d become. 

Not wanting to look at it anymore, Leyla grabbed the box, and hid it deep under her bed.
She may not be able to throw it away, but she can keep it out of sight, and out of mind until she would forget about it.