Harry Potter and the Sword of Grifindor

” Ron concluded.

”Thanks mate, that means a lot, ” Harry said, his heart feeling a little lighter.

”Besides I shouldve seen this coming, the two of you hooking up. I mean, look at all the stuff you two have done together, ” Ron stated. ”You both went into the Forbidden Forest in our first year while I was stuck in the Hospital Ward. Then there was the Time Turner Adventure you had in our third year where you saved Sirius and rode Buckbeak. And in our fifth, you two went into the Forest twice together and then when we split up in the Department of Mysteries, you two were still a team. ”

A genuine smile appeared on both Ron and Harrys faces as they shook hands, renewing their friendship. Hermione then hugged their tall friend. As she pulled away from him, Ron looked at her red eye and asked ”Were you hit with a Conjunctivitis Curse? ”

Hermione snorted in a very un-lady-like fashion and Harrys heart sunk as he realized the awkward situation of the talk with Ron had forced Hermione to suppress the urges she was feeling from the super-charged Cheering Charm. Apparently, since the awkwardness of the talk had passed, the effects of the super-charged Cheering Charm kicked in once again.

”My eye is red because Harry came in it, ” informed Hermione with a chuckle.

Harry gaped with his mouth open in shock at Ron. Hermione had just blurted out how far their relationship had progressed and Harry was fearful of Rons reaction. You see, Ron was prone to bouts of jealously and anger. And Harry worried that Ron would react badly because Ron was basically just told that Hermione had given Harry a hand-job. But thankfully, Ron was also prone to bouts of denseness.

”What do you mean? ” Ron asked, dumbfounded. ”How can someone come into your eye? ”

Before Harry could defuse the situation, Hermione answered Rons question, ”Not into, in. And its quite simple: Bad aim, thats how. ”

Ron stared at his two best friends in bewilderment for a moment. Then slowly, understanding dawned in his eyes.

”SHE NEVER DID THAT WITH ME! ”

”Pfft, ” Hermione countered – if one could call a ”pfft ” noise a counterpoint. ”I never did /any/thing with you. ”

Hermione then proceeded to attempt to once more lower Harrys pants. Luckily, Harry seized hold of his trousers before Hermione could tug them down.

”What the hell is wrong with her? ” Ron asked Harry.

”I hit her with a super-charged Cheering Charm, ” Harry tried to inform his friend while wrestling for control of his pants with Hermione.

”You hit her with a super-charged Cheering Charm by cumming in her eye? ” demanded Ron.

”No, no, no, ” Harry stammered. He was beginning to lose the battle over his pants and he was quite worried that Ron was about to formally meet Harry, Jr. ”No, we performed a ritual to find the Horcruxes… ”

Harry paused as he started to feel the fabric of his pants slip away.

”And you performed this ritual by cumming in her eye? ” Ron asked, still trying to follow the chain of events.

”No, ” Hermione answered and thankfully gave up in her quest to expose Harry, Jr. and walked over to stand in front of Ron. ”I found a ritual in a dirty little book Harry was trying to hide from me. ” Of course, Hermione was speaking very rapidly. ”The ritual required me to wank his willy, ” Hermione paused momentarily to make a rude hand gesture to Ron, as if she needed to give the red-haired wizard a visual reference to what she was talking about. ”Well, then we had an out of body experience where we found the location of all of Voldemorts Horcruxes, but the ritual ended when Harry came. Unfortunately, he cummed in my eye, duh! ” She accentuated this point by leaning very close to Ron so that he could inspect the eye in question.

”And as to the reason Im acting so strangely, ” Hermione continued after she believed that Ron had inspected her red-eye enough. ”Harry informed me that there was more to the prophesy concerning he and Voldemort than just me against him and it dealt with a power Harry has that Voldemort doesn even know about. And apparently that power is love and so I decided to see how much his love affected simple charms and spells. So we did a little experiment with a Cheering Charm and lo and behold you have a very hyper-active Hermione. Harry has tried to cancel out the charm, but what he doesn realized is that he had so much power in the charm that hell have to tap into his love-core again to cancel it completely. That or hit me with a dozen or so more Finites ”

”Oh, okay. So when are we going to Godrics Hollow and start looking for the Horcruxes? ” Ron asked, abruptly changing subjects, obviously pretending that not only had he understood what Hermione had said, but that she was acting completely normal.

”How about now? ” asked Harry, equally trying to pretend that Hermiones actions were normal.

”Why not? ” Ron agreed.

”Fine, but lets stop by Remus and Tonks place first, ” Hermione said with a knowing look in her eye – well her one good eye that is. ”Just to let them know we
e going on a trip. ”

”Alright, before we leave lets go to the kitchen and get some food, ” Harry said. ”Im famished. ”

”Wait. First, I have some f/orgive me I was such a berk/ presents to give you two, ” Ron said as he started to reach in his robes.

”Ron thats not necessary, ” Hermione said gently.

”Its something I feel I need to do, is all, ” stated Ron and he pulled out a single yellow rose and handed it to Hermione. ”I hope we can still be friends. ”

”Of course we are, ” Hermione said with tears of happiness in her eyes and she hugged Ron again. After they broke apart, Ron pulled a box out of his robes and handed it to Harry.

”Here you go Harry, ” Ron said as Harry took the box. ”I had it made for you this morning. I hope it fits. ”

Harry opened the box to find a bright pink pullover with the words ”Dracos Little Princess ” embroidered on it.

”I think Draco would like that, ” Hermione said with a chuckle as she examined the shirt over Harrys shoulder. Harry groaned and looked at Ron who appeared to on the verge of laughter.

”Ha, ha, let it out you two, ” Harry said mirthlessly.

”Do you think that Harry would be the Keeper or the Chaser? ” Ron asked. ”I think hed be the Keeper in the relationship. ”

”Oh, yes, I can totally see that, ” Hermione answered. ”Draco is very aggressive, so that would make him the dominant of the pair. ”

This playful ribbing continued as the trio went to the kitchens and grabbed some food. Dobby made it a point to say goodbye to Harry and if they needed anything that they shouldn hesitate to call on the little House-Elf. As Harry left the kitchen, he absently noted that Kreacher was no where to be seen.

After they left the castle grounds, Hermione turned to Harry and demanded ”Lift this Charm off of me this instant! I refuse to go any further until I am normal. Its taking too much effort to restrain myself right now. And Im afraid that Ill lose my concentration in the middle of a large crowd of people. ”

”Okay, /Finite/. ” Harry said after he pointed his wand at her.

”No Harry! ” Hermione exclaimed gleefully. ”I told you earlier you will have to hit me with a dozen more Finites or one loved powered Finite! ”

”You did? ” he asked.

”Yes, remember when I was explaining our situation to Ron? ”

”Um, no, not really, ” Harry responded honestly. In Harrys defense, she had been speaking rather rapidly earlier.

”Well, tap into your love-core so I can be normal again, ” demanded Hermione.

Harry paused and focused on how he felt for his girlfriend and muttered ”/Finite. ”/

With a sigh, Hermione acknowledged that she had finally returned to normal.

The trio signaled for the Knight Bus. With a loud BANG, the triple decked bus appeared in front of them. Harry, Hermione, and Ron got on and took the Knight Bus to Remus cottage.

”Wothcher, kids, ” Tonks greeted them as she answered the door. ”Come inside. ”

Tonks led the group to the small front room where Remus was reading The Quibbler.

”Hello, you three, ” Remus greeted. ”What brings you here? ”

”Oh, just wanted to stop by before we head off to Godrics Hollow, ” informed Harry.

Remus and Tonks shared a concerned look.

”Pardon me, but may I use the bathroom? ” Hermione interjected.

”Of course you can, Hermione. ” Tonks answered.

Hermione winked at Harry before disappearing around the corner. Harry had some difficulty controlling his joy at the thought of Remus and Tonks embarrassing themselves due to Hermiones ingenious plan of revenge.

”Now Harry, I want to warn you about what youll find at Godrics Hollow, ” said Remus, the concern in his voice was obvious to anyone who was paying attention. However, Harry wasn paying attention. His mind was filled with images of the humiliated pair of Tonks and Remus.

”Joseph Middwood was the man Lily and James hired to be the houses caretaker, ” Remus continued and Harry nodded his head as if he understood what the older wizard had said. ”And he has done… some questionable things since your parents died… ”

Harry almost laughed out loud as a mental image of Remus and Tonks sitting at the dinner table at the Burrow entered his mind. He imagined Molly setting the main course in front of Remus. The werewolf then looked up at Molly and thanked her before shoving his hand down Tonks blouse to squeeze her tit. In Harrys mind, Molly then gasped as Tonks whipped out Remus willy and started to wank him off.

”… and apparently, he thought he deserved more money… ” Remus continued to speak. And Harry continued to ignore him.

Harry gleefully imagined another mortifying predicament caused by Hermiones Bad Lust potion. In his minds eye, Harry saw Remus stop by the Ministry of Magic to drop off some lunch for Tonks. He imagined them talking for a bit about inconsequential things, but the moment that Tonks supervisor happened to stop by, all hell would break loose. Harry fought the urge to chuckle at the imagined shocked expression on Tonks bosss face when Remus put his willy in-between the pink haired witchs boobs and began to whack himself off with her mounds.

Another image suddenly popped in Harrys mind driving the current scenario from his imagination. Instead of Remus giving Tonks a good old fashion titty-**, Harry saw himself in the same position, but with Hermione and her wondrous breasts being the stars. He wondered momentarily if Hermione would ever agree to such an activity. He didn think that she would agree to such a thing just for the pleasure of it; but remembering his sore bottom and how moist and musky her knickers were from earlier, Harry realized that his girlfriend was a touch kinky. He even considered momentarily using his super-charged Cheering Charm just to bring that naughty girl out once more, but quickly put that thought aside. He could never use Hermione. He loved her and would never intentionally force her to lower her inhibitions for his pleasure. Hopefully, he thought, a ritual would be in the /special book/ which would require him putting /Harry, Jr./ between Hermiones beautiful boobs. He felt /Harry, Jr./ began to stir at the thought of getting the opportunity to frolic with /Carmella/ and /Natasha/.

”… Ive tried talking with Joseph. ” Remus sighed dejectedly before continuing. ”But he won listen to reason. ”

The magnificent image of Harry giving Hermione his own special pearl necklace was sadly replaced by another vision of a ”Bad Lust ” attack. The image this time focused on Tonks taking Remus to visit her folks. Remus gave Mrs. Tonks a kiss as a greeting and shook Mr. Tonks hand like a gentleman before Remus began humping their daughters leg like a rabid dog – or in Remus case — a wolf. Granted, Harry found this image humorous, but he found the image of a naked Hermione underneath him much more preferable.

”… Im sorry I didn tell you before now, ” concluded Remus. ”I just wanted to prepare you for what youll find there. ”

”Oh, thanks Remus, ” Harry responded, absentmindedly. ”Ill keep it in mind. ”

What hell keep in mind was a total mystery to Harry since he hadn heard a word that Remus had said.

”Sorry about that, ” Hermione began as she reentered the room. ”Did I miss anything? ”

”Nothing important, ” replied Harry. Hermione gave him a look that clearly told him that the mission was accomplished. Soon, very soon, Tonks would be jumping Remus bones and their revenge will be complete!

”All right then, I guess we should be going, ” Hermione announced.

”Okay, see you three later, ” Remus bid them farewell. But before Harry could turn and leave, Remus said to Tonks: ”Tonks, love. ”

”Yes, sweetie, ” she replied.

”Remind me to throw away the tea, ” Remus said as he picked up The Quibbler and started to read it once more. ”Hermione spiked it while pretending to use the loo. ”

”Yes dear, ” Tonks replied nonchalantly as if their tea supply was often spiked and she was rather bored with the chore of throwing it away.

”Why would she spike your tea? ” Ron asked.

Harry could feel his eye twitch. His dream of revenge was destroyed before it even started. Remus just killed his dream. Harry looked at Hermione and saw that her eye was twitching as well.

”Just for a prank, ” Remus said to Ron.

”But… but…. But howd you know? ” stammered Hermione.

”I have wards up all over the house, and they alert me if something gets disturbed. ” Remus answered. ”You two will have to come up with better ideas if you want to pull a practical joke on me. Remember, I am a Marauder after all. ”

”DAMN IT! ” Harry cursed and stomped out of the cottage. Hermione followed, grumbling under her breath. Ron silently followed, not realizing all the trouble his friends had been through.

”Oi, Hermione, ” Tonks called out from the house to the trio as Harry signaled for the Knight Bus. ”Next time, turn your head. That way you avoid getting it in your eye! ” Hermione shot Tonks a dirty look with her one good eye as the pink haired witch continued to taunt; ”Oh, and Harry, don forget to give Draco a kiss for me! ”

The purple bus appeared with a bang and Harry gloomily walked on.

”Godrics Hollow, ” Harry told the driver. Harry sat on a chair in the back after paying the driver and Hermione and Ron soon joined him.

”Why were you trying to prank Remus, ” Ron asked.

”He pranked us first, ” Harry blurted out not realizing that he would have to describe the prank to Ron. Even though Ron was being a sport concerning Harry and Hermiones relationship, Harry didn want to aggravate Ron by telling him the whole ”/Tonks caught me eating out Hermione while you thought you two were still a couple and then Remus pranked us by making us believe the Ministry made flyers describing the scene Tonks saw/ ” ordeal. So, as quickly as he could, Harry made up a prank that wouldn possibly rile Ron. ”Remus called me a poopie head. ”

Hermione slapped her head in annoyance at Harrys poor cover-up.

”Really? A /poopie-head/? ” Ron asked; thankfully Ron wasn the brightest person in the world. ”Youd think a Marauder would come up with a better prank than that. ”

Hermione slapped her head again; this time in annoyance to Rons stupidity.

”I mean /poopie-head/ isn even funny, ” Ron continued, unmindful of Hermiones vexation. ”I thought the Marauders were supposed to be the best pranksters to ever attend Hogwarts. But /poopie-head/? ” Ron concluded by shaking his head in a disappointed way. ”Fred and George would be so disappointed. ”

Harry began to grow concerned. Not only was his friend digging into the very unlikely excuse, but worse, Ron appeared to believe it. Harry truly wondered how Ron could be that gullible and trusting.

”But theres something I don understand, ” Ron said. ”Why would you want to prank Remus back if he called you a /poopie-head/? I mean, why bother? You could just call him a /berk/ and be done with it. ”

Worrying that his friend might finally deduce that the ”poopie-head ” story was just a cover-up for the ”I got caught eating out Hermione, ” Harry decided to divert Rons attention.

”Hey, we found where the Horcruxes are hidden! ” announced Harry.

”Thats right! ” Ron responded. ”Where are they? ”

”Harry! ” hissed Hermione. With a tilt of her head, she indicated a group of four wizards sitting near the front of the Bus. ”Do you want them to hear this conversation? ”

Harry doubted that they had heard him mention the horcruxes, but he knew that Hermione was right. Discreetly pulling out his wand, Harry pointed it at the group of wizards and muttered: ”Muffliato! ”

The Muffliato Charm was designed to fill the ears of the people who were hit with it to have their hearing filled with unidentifiable buzzing sounds. It was a simple charm that would allow Harry and his friends to talk without being overheard. It was also a charm that wouldn harm anyone. Harry hated to admit it, but Snape did make some useful spells.

The Muffliato Charm wouldn harm anyone unless the caster had gone and unwittingly performed a power boosting ritual, much like Harry had.

”OH SWEET MERLIN! ” the first wizard shouted while frantically looking around him. ”ARE WE UNDER ATTACK FROM MONSTROUSLY HUGE BEES? ”

”WHAT DID YOU SAY? ” the second wizard screamed at the first.

”THE AGONY OF TINNIUS! ” the third hollered while clutching his ears.

”WHAT DID YOU SAY? ” the fourth wizard yelled.

Both Ron and Hermione shot looks at Harry as the four wizards continued to frantically scream and shout. Rons look told Harry that the red head was confused and didn understand why such a simple and harmless charm had created such havoc. However, Hermiones look was different; it clearly told Harry that she was very upset with him.

”Whats going on? ” Ron hollered as the first wizard continued to warn everyone around him at the top of his lung about the impending bee attack. ”Why are they acting like that? The Muffliato shouldn cause that type of reaction! ”

”Because Harry forgot he performed a power-boosting ritual! ” yelled Hermione.

”What? ” shouted Ron over the cries of the four unknown wizards.

”Harry performed a power-boosting ritual! ” she yelled louder.

”WHAT? ”

”HE PERFORMED A POWER-BOOSTING RITUAL!!! ” screamed Hermione, her face had turned a bright red as she shouted at the top of her lungs.

”Oh, howd you do it? ” Ron asked Harry rather loudly.

Sharing a concerned look with Harry, Hermione began to sputter: ”We… um… he… err… well… ”

Harry noticed that Ron was trying his best to hear what Hermione was muttering but he could tell that Ron couldn hear anything she was saying over the shouts and screams of the four wizards. Harry shouted to Ron ”NEVER MIND, IT ISNT IMPORTANT. ”

”ALRIGHT! ” Ron shouted and asked ”WHERE ARE THE HORCRUXES? ”

Hermione must have realized that it wouldve been very difficult to tell Ron the locations of the Horcruxes over the four wizards screams so she pulled some parchment out of her robes along with a quill and scratched out some notes. After a moment, she showed Harry the note and shouted in his ear so that he could hear what she was asking: ”Does this look right to you? ”

Harry quickly read the parchment.

”Slytherins locket was at Borgin & Burkes, but was sold to an unknown wizard.

An unknown item is hidden under the orphanage where Riddle was raised.

Hufflepuffs cup is at number twelve, //Grimmauld Place//. (R. A. B. was Regulus Black, Sirius brother)

Voldemort, the final Horcrux. ”

Harry silently nodded his head in approval and handed Hermiones note to Ron. After reading the note once (which took an abnormally long amount of time), Ron reread it again, this time, it appeared that he was counting off the Horcruxes. With a perplexed and somewhat pained look (Harry couldn tell if the pained expression on his face was due to the fact that he just had to read something that wasn homework or Quidditch related or not), Ron attempted to ask Harry and Hermione a question. Unfortunately, Harry couldn hear what he was saying over the four wizards who were now panicking.

”To hell with this, ” Harry muttered and pointed his wand at the wizards. ”/Finite/ ”

”Thank heaven, ” the first wizard exclaimed as he sat back down. ”The monstrously huge bees have called off their attack ”

”Ive been cured! ” the third wizard cried out.

The other two wizards sat down and appeared to be pretending as if nothing unusual had just happened.

”What was that Ron? ” asked Hermione.

”Theres only four, ” Ron answered.

”So? ” asked Harry.

”Well including the diary that you destroyed in second year and the ring that Dumbledore destroyed last year; that only makes six. ” Ron explained. ”I thought there was supposed to be seven of them? ”

Harry and Hermione were taken back for two reasons; firstly, Ron was correct in the fact that they were one Horcrux short. And the second and more shocking reason; Ron was correct.

”Maybe we did the ritual wrong, ” speculated Hermione. ”Perhaps we should do it again. ”

Harrys heart leapt up at the thought of Hermiones small hands wrapped around Harry, Jr. and a goofy grin stretched across his face.

”Maybe I could do it too? ” Ron asked hopefully.

The goofy grin quickly disappeared from Harrys face and he glowered at his friend. What the hell is he implying? Harry thought.

”Just what are you implying, Ron? ” Hermione demanded, scandalized.

”What? Wait? ” Ron sputtered, noticing the shocked looks of his friends. ”Whats wrong with me wanting to help? Why can I do the ritual? ”

”Ron, weren you listening to me back in the Common Room? Hermione asked. ”I told you: Harry and I performed a… sex based ritual. Thats why
ot you! ”

”Oh god, no, Hermione, ” Ron replied quickly. ”Um… No, what I mean is that no I didn really pay atten… that is understand you back there. But why can I do the ritual? Not with you Hermione. I was thinking about giving Lav-Lav another go. ”

”What? Lavender Brown? ” Hermione screeched, obviously upset with Ron and his choice of witches. Harry was just glad he wasn propositioning Hermione. He loved Ron like a brother, but he had no intention of sharing Hermione with him. ”She is a bubble-headed, silly girl, ” Hermione continued. ”You will not date her again. ”

”Why not? ” asked Ron.

”Because the only thing you two had in common was over-active hormones! ”

”And thats a bad thing? ”

”Yes! ” Hermione called out. ”You cannot have a relationship built strictly on lust, you have to have a relationship, a truly deep and meaningful connection. Like Harry and I do. ”

Harry tuned out his friends argument; if youve hear them argue once, youve heard them enough he rationalized. His mind drifted back to Godrics Hollow, the place where he and his family once lived. His heart was filled with anticipation and trepidation at the thought of visiting the house where he was born and where his parents were killed.

”The only way that I will allow you to even contemplate participating in any ritual, ” Hermione stated with authority, ”will be after Harry and I find you a proper girl you can date.

”And that is final! ” Hermione concluded, ending the argument.

The Bus suddenly stopped and a witch with four young children climbed on board. ”Godrics Hollow, please, ” she said to the driver.

Harry was a little more than taken back; she wanted to go to Godrics Hollow like he did. Ever since he had first heard of Godrics Hollow, Harry had assumed that it was the name of the house he and his parents had lived in. Harry looked over to Hermione, who appeared to be having the same quandary as he. Ron however, was still concentrating over Hermiones dictate.

”I don see why I can have a say in who Im allowed to date, ” Ron muttered sullenly. ”At least let me have some input, please Hermione? ” he pleaded.

”Perhaps, if you behave yourself, ” Hermione conceded, simply to stop the discussion.

Maybe, Harry thought, Godrics Hollow was the name of the village where his parents had lived. This seemed very possible because the Bus stopped again and the people who got on also wanted to go to Godrics Hollow. It seemed very feasible until Ron spoke up and said: ”I haven been here since I was a kid. I know its kind of lame now that Ive grown, but its still cool. ” He then added very excitedly; ”I can wait to ride the stairway again! ”

Before Harry or Hermione could ask Ron what he had meant, the Bus came to a screeching halt and the driver announced, ”Godrics Hollow. ” Harry was the first of the trio to exit the Bus, and what he saw made him almost faint.

Harry stood in front of a large grey warehouse. There were a number of wizards and witches with their children that had formed a queue waiting to get into the building. This wasn all that shocking, but the flashing sign hanging above the entrance to the warehouse was the thing that made Harry almost faint. The sign stated:

”Welcome to Godrics Hollow; Home of Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived! Watch Mr. and Mrs. Potter as they bravely try to fight off He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Marvel at the miracle of You-Know-Whos downfall!

Ticket Prices:

Adults: 3 knuts

Children (11 and under) 2 knuts

Seniors (80 and older) 2 knuts. ”

”Excuse me, but either join the queue or get out of the way please, ” a witch with three children said to Harry as she pushed her way past him. The witch then stepped in the back of a line that went from the street where Harry had stepped off of the Bus to the entrance.

From inside the warehouse, Harry could hear shouts of excitement, cries of fear, and various explosions.

”What the bloody hell is this? ” Hermione asked, giving voice to Harrys internal question.

”Its just a tourist ride, ” Ron explained, ignorant to the shock Harry was experiencing.

Harry wanted to hurt somebody. Hurt them very, very badly. He didn care who that somebody was; he needed someone to hurt, very, very badly. Then Ron had the misfortune to offer ”Hey I know, since I didn get you a birthday present, how out I buy you a glowing /baby Harry/? ”

And the somebody that Harry needed to hurt very, very badly was going to be Ron.

To be continued.