I Should Have Just Died

heart.
By what qualification did she stand there? Alyssa laughed softly.
She pressed her hand against her chest, and her lips trembled.
She wanted to disappear as she was, and she would melt into the water and disappear.

Numerous emotions swallowed up Alyssa.

Soon after, a carriage, apparently carrying Seidrick, arrived at Cambridge.

Shaaaa-

“…Seidrick.”

Alyssa slowly recalled his name.
A long black umbrella entirely obscured his figure.

“Seidrick.”

Even his name was awkward, so Alyssa repeated it again.

Did he hear her voice?

The long umbrella slowly tilted back, revealing Seidrick’s face.
It was far away, and the rain made it hard to tell what was ahead and see his face in detail.

Alyssa’s hand holding the curtain trembled.

Alyssa took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“Seidrick.”

It was the third time.

Alyssa felt that she had made eye contact with Seidrick.
The eyes of melted blue-green.
She couldn’t even see his face, but his eyes were clear.

‘What are you thinking?’

She saw Seidrick sticking his hand out of the umbrella.

Even her breath trembled.
She backed away as if she was spying on something she shouldn’t have spied on.
As she walked out through the balcony curtains, she ruffled her hair as she headed towards the bed.

“Madam!”

“It’s okay.”

Alyssa staggered and sat down on the bed.
Even her legs were shaking.
Like the rain pouring out of the window, so did her heart.
The ripped and torn heart couldn’t stand Alyssa’s.

Guilt.

A sense of debt.

Sadness.

Pain.

And affection.

All those emotions mixed and flooded Alyssa.
It felt like she was going to melt and drown in the waves of feeling like this.

Ophelia and Juliana accepted Alyssa into the family.

She knows it must have been a difficult decision.
They would have had to partially forgive Avery to embrace Alyssa.

Her throat was as hot as burning.

“Ha……”

“Madam, are you not feeling well? Your face is pale.”

“It’s nothing, Sasha.”

Alyssa shook her head.
However, she soon stopped even that.

“Sasha, what should I do….”

“Madam……”

“What should I do, Sasha?”

“What the hell happened to you?”

Sasha burst into tears and hugged her master.
It feels like her body is getting smaller and smaller, and her heart burns.
No matter how much she fed, Alyssa’s body seemed to disprove her state of mind.
As if it was suggesting that she was dying.